We have a Big Girl at our house:)

Chloe decided diapers were for babies and is going potty in the potty. She only had one accident yesterday and it was #2. The day before that she was dry all day!!!! She just woke up one day and decided she was going to go in the potty. We are so proud of her and super excited to be able to save some money on diapers.

*Disclaimer- This is probably more of a rant for me to get my thoughts out of my head as I am trying to process lots of things.

On Sunday, Phil and I went to an Adoption Celebration. In the beginning of the year we decided that we would not move forward with the process of adoption until we attended this and got more information. At the time, I thought it was a really long wait. I wasn't sure if my patience would last that long. Now, I can't believe it's already happened and we are ready to move forward with making some HUGE decisions about the future of our family. I was hoping to come away with a clear picture of what step to take next, but now I am feeling more confused. Originally our plan was to work with the state foster care system and adopt that way. Now, we may be leaning more towards fostering through an agency and adopting through an agency. One thing we hadn't thought about before was the importance of having someone in your corner. The state clearly has the goal of reuniting the child with their birth parents. We understand this, but are feeling like maybe we need someone in our corner too. An agency would provide this support. It would still be a possibility of the child being placed back with the biological family because we are choosing fostering before adoption,but there would still be a support system for us.

The other issue with this is cost. This will increase the cost because we will be going through another party. There is no price we can place on our child. We will make the sacrifices we need to in order to fulfill the call God has given us, but we do still need to work through this aspect of this process. We have 2 other friends that are currently going through the adoption process and are seeing great examples of how to overcome this burden. There are grants, tax credits, employer reimbursement, and fundraising we can do.

I guess the reality of the process is starting to sink in. It's different than conceiving your own child. When I got pregnant with Chloe, we had 9 months to get ready. This time, it could be 3 years. That's hard. That's 3 years our child is not with us. Time that our child is unsafe and going through things no child should ever experience. As a mother I want to protect my baby. I don't know what his or her face looks like, but I dream of the day that they will be with us. Safe. Feeling the love of a family that desires to be with them. Playing with their sister and laughing.

The news has become something I am avoiding when it comes to stories about children who have been abused or abandoned. A newborn baby was left in a trash bin this week. Discarded. There were 4 kids removed from a meth house last week. This just gets my mind on what could happen to our child. What are we going to have to overcome. What is going to get in the way of a child trusting and bonding with us. I'm just not ready for those things, so I have decided to stop reading and watching these stories.

There is a lot to process as a family. We need to prepare ourselves and our daughter for a long emotional road. I don't know if we will fully understand this process until we have finished it, but we are ready because God has called us.

Love of Music

I started memorizing songs at a young age. I have always loved music and have a broad range of music I listen to. Anything from 80's to country to classical. The past few months, we have noticed this same love of music in Chloe. She has lots of songs memorized (too many to count) and is always making up songs of her own. When she is in a room alone she sings to her babies and blanket. I love sneaking in the hallway just to listen to her sweet little voice.

When Chloe was born we started singing "I Love You Lord" to her at bed time or when she was fussy and needed cuddles. I still sing it to her before bed when she doesn't have a special request. The other night, we were rocking and she asked me to sing it to her. Her favorite line is "Take joy my King, in what you hear. May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear." She belted it out with such an honest joy to be singing this song. I am not sure that she understand the king we are singing to is God, but watching her make sure she got every word just right and the smile on her face when she was singing, reminded me that I need to have the faith of a child. Chloe doesn't understand all of the aspects of faith, but she does understand that God loves her and protects her. She understands that her also wants her to obey Him (and Mommy and Daddy). It has been a privilege to see her learn about God. I am excited for the personal relationship she will have with Him. I've always had a hard time understanding how kids could accept Christ at the age of 3 or 4, but now watching Chloe I get it. We are all born with a hole only God can fill. It's so important to show your children faith at a young age. For Chloe, it's a part of life. Her week isn't complete if she doesn't get to go to Sunday school. If we don't pray before bed, she can't go to sleep. When she thinks there are monsters in her room, sometimes the only way I can get her to calm down is to pray for her and let her know that God is protecting her. I feel so blessed that God has trusted Phil and I to guide Chloe as she grows her relationship with Christ. There are times when we feel like we don't know what we are doing, but God knows what He is doing. What an amazing thing to see Him working on such a young child!!

Pray For Kate

There is a little 5 year old in Arizona I have been praying for named Kate. I wanted to share her story with you. It's amazing how God uses your connections to other people to show you others that are in need of prayer. The daughter of one of the pastors I worked with at Far Hills is best friends with Kate. Please check out the blog Kate's parents are keeping about their journey and pray for Kate. God has done some amazing things for this family. There is still so much to pray for. God is the great healer. Pray that he will perform a miracle and heal Kate.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate

Chloe's first haircut

Before:

After:

Is anybody out there???

So, as I look at my comments, I see that I have one faithful reader. I know there are times where I don't get on here for a long time, so I am wondering who actually keeps up with this blog besides my mom and Kent. The question I am getting at is, is this blog thing really worth my time. So, if you are a faithful reader, please comment on this post so I know you are out there. I guess if it's only mom and Kent then I will just speak to them in person about the things I decide are blog worthy:)

First of all, I would like to thank my friends and family for the prayers for my mom. For those of you who don't know, my mom went in to have her gall bladder removed last Wednesday. The surgery we great, but after the surgery she aspirated (food came up from her stomach and went into her lungs) when she was waking up from the anesthesia. Her lungs collapsed and she developed pneumonia. She has been in the ICU since Thursday. So, an outpatient surgery turned into a long stay in the hospital. She will be there until at least Friday. She was originally planning on being back to work by yesterday.

We were reminded this weekend how much a 2 year old absorbs. Even when you try to protect them, they know something is wrong. Chloe kept talking about mom the whole time we were there. She often talked about how grandma was sick, but she would be okay. One day she asked me where grandma was and told me she needed her. While we were at my parents house, she would pick up things and tell us they were grandma's. She is still having trouble sleeping and doesn't like it if Phil or I leave her.

Please continue to pray for my mom as she heals. It will be a slow process and I know she wants to get back to work. Pray that she takes the time she will need. Also pray for the doctors. They think there may be some underlying issues that they plan to address after she is out of the hospital. Pray for my dad and my brother Eric. Thanks for all of your support and the phone calls. They mean a lot! On our way up to Kalamazoo, I felt peace because I knew we were being prayed for. What an awesome feeling. Thanks!! I know my mom is going to kill me for posting this picture, but it's the only one I had right now:)

What a summer!!!

For my one faithful reader, I decided I should probably post something since it's been 4 weeks!! We have been very busy at the Amburgey household. Phil had CDYC (church youth conference) from June 20-23 and was busy with preparations from that. Fundraising, figuring out totals for each kid, calling parents, and making sure everyone knew the rules was a bit stressful this year. While I wasn't involved in all of that, I was stressed out for him!!

It was hard to make sure we got family time and adult time with all of that going on, so we took a family vacation from June 24-27. One the hottest week in June, we headed south to visit Phil's aunts in Glasgow, Kentucky. We were hoping to be able to spend some time outside, but the high temps kept us indoors most of the time. Chloe was able to get some swimming in, and she got to experience her first cave tour. The whole time we were waiting for the tour to start she kept saying "I go on cave tour". Phil and I toured the local museum that Aunt June volunteers in. It was really impressive for a town the size of Glasgow. All of the things in the museum were donated by people in the area. It's amazing that people had some of that stuff just lying around!! I think the Victorian era walker was my favorite. Vacation was great, but we were all ready to head home, so on Saturday afternoon, we headed back to Fort Wayne. The drive was VERY long due to some construction, but we made it back safe! We were blessed several times with safety on the road (ask for details sometime).

So, we are now back to normal life. We have taken a trip to the local park for Chloe to play at the splash pad, we took a family walk last night, and are now preparing for my family to visit this weekend for my birthday. I love the freedom of summer. At times we feel super busy, but at least most of the time we are busy together:) Pics will follow!!

My husband is amazing...

This past week has been a bit of a challenge for me. I have been fighting a cold/sinus thing that keeps getting the best of me. I also had my first round of cortisone shots for my wrists on Wednesday. The doctor told me I wouldn't like him for several days. He wasn't exaggerating!! I can't really cook, cleaning is a joke, folding laundry isn't going to happen, and the thought of giving Chloe a bath is overwhelming. My husband has been there to help this whole week. He has made a late night run to get me some cold meds, had a great time giving Chloe a bath last night, and has been very supportive this week. I am blessed to have the support I have from him. I wouldn't be able to survive without it!! Thanks Phil:)

Chloe's 2!!!

Within the past week, there have been two people who I knew in high school that faced the question of faith. Do you continue to place your faith in God, or do you walk away from a faith you have know since you were a small child? While these people aren't really a part of my life today (except through Facebook), I can remember fun times with both of them. Times that we were surrounded by our identities in Christ. One made the choice to cling to the grace that God has given her. One, we will call her Samantha to protect the innocent, chose to walk away. I guess this situation made me try to imagine my life without Christ. I can't do it. Samantha said she has never been happier in her entire life. Those words lead me to believe that she never truly knew God. Was she following the ideas and "rules" of other Christians? I guess there is only one person who can answer that question. I think of times in my life when I felt like I was at the bottom. The only reason I was able to stand back up was because God was there to lift me up. This is probably the 4th time in a week this idea of "Christian rules" has come up for me. The thing that I am realizing is, it's not about a score. It doesn't matter how many things I "get right". It's about a relationship. The things that I do after that (reading my Bible, following God's commandments, praying) are a result of that relationship. My prayer is for Samantha's daughter. I pray that God sends an amazing person to show her the true love of Christ. I also pray that the scales will be removed from Samantha's eyes. I know she feels like this is the end of this subject in her life, but I think it's just the beginning. She knows the truth, and I hope that makes it so she can't sleep at night. I pray that God grabs her heart and shows her His true self. Not the ideas other Christians have given her, but true love, grace, and acceptance. I also am praying for other friends that may be at this same place. Sometimes we don't know what is truly going on inside a person. This is my reminder. It hurts when someone turns away from God. I cannot fathom how He is feeling today.

Some of my favorite things about Chloe right now...

1. She has a new found love of hide and seek. She likes to be the seeker.
2. Her love for "sauce sauce" (apple sauce). We were at Sam's Club last weekend and she got her first look at bulk apple sauce. With an amazed look on her face, she yelled "No way! Sauce sauce!!".
3. She loves her daddy. Anytime she gives me a hug or kiss she seeks out daddy so he can have one too!
4. She likes to brush her teeth. She really likes it when daddy helps. Mommy-not so much:(
5. She loves to read books. You can usually read a couple of pages before she decides it's her turn to read to you.
6. She is learning her ABC's. She's getting better at saying all of the letters correctly.
7. She is very aware of babies. She doesn't like it if she hears a baby crying. We always tell her she is going to be a great mommy someday.
8. She loves playing outside. She is starting to master the slide in our backyard.
9. Her expressions are very dramatic. Whether it giggles or grumps, she puts a lot of effort in her emotions.
10. She still snuggles, sometimes. In the early morning when we are getting ready for work, she loves to just sit and snuggle.

Being an adult

Phil and I have been on a financial plan to get out of debt and build a savings for about a year now. There have been some bumps in the road, but none as big as what we have had going on the past month. Our washer died, our computer died, we discovered an oil leak in our car, and last night we found a mold problem in our bedroom. Last night Phil and I were feeling VERY discouraged. So, we have to buy new carpet, tear out a very handy cabinet in our room, buy a new dresser (because the drawers in our room were storing clothes), and paint. There are lots of things we have dreamed about doing in our house. Re-doing that room was one of them, but we didn't want to do it right now.

Facing this huge task and a large sum of money that will have to come from savings, it would be easy to throw in the towel and say what is the point of continuing. We are not going to do that! God is still in control. He will continue to provide.

If we hadn't found the problem when we did, things could have been a lot worse. I am thankful that the need to clean overcame me when it did. Some people will say that was because it's time for spring cleaning, I say it's because of God. He knew what the problem was and without that urge, it would have been months before the issue was found. I am thankful for where we are at now. God is continuing to grow and shape us and I will look at this as a growing opportunity!!

Sunday car rides

On the way to lunch from church on Sunday, Phil and I were talking about warm weather and things we can't wait to do. We were passing the zoo, and I told Chloe we would take her to the zoo when it was warmer outside. She quickly replied "No mommy. I don't want it. I want cheese." Apparently she had her mind on one thing, and that was lunch!!

Is it spring yet???

As many of my readers know, the Amburgey family has been really battling illnesses this winter. Every time we get over one thing we get about a week of being healthy and then something else comes. This time it's me. I go to see Dr. Sand this morning to see what it is this time. So, we need your help. What does your family do to stay healthy? Leave your comments about what your family does during the winter to avoid illness. Thanks for your help!!

A Love Story

I was reading some notes some of my facebook friends wrote. Some of my friends had filled out questions about their relationship with their significant other. One question was what did you do on your first date. I was thinking back to almost 8 years ago when my romance with Phil began. It's hard to say what we did on our first date because I am not really sure when that was. I remember being accused of going on a date with him while at Grace. Phil asked me to go get some ice cream with him. It was a long day of classes, so I told him I wanted to go take a shower and then we could go. I had a friend who decided that because I felt the need to freshen up, that it was a date. Really, I just didn't want to be sweaty anymore!!

So, if that wasn't a "date" when was our first date? I think I would say our first date (the day I decided I really liked Phil) was the first full day I was back in Winona Lake for the summer. I had gone home for a couple of weeks, and then moved back to Winona Lake to work as a youth leader at a church there. My first night back in town I had arranged to stay with a friend. She forgot, and I was left with no where to stay and no money to get a room. I knew where her family lived, even though I didn't know them, so I stopped at her parents house to see if they knew where she was. She was in Iowa (I think) visiting her boyfriend. Her mom was nice enough to offer me a warm bed and I watched My Fair Lady for the first time with her. The next day was a Sunday. Phil and I had talked about him coming to visit and going to church with me. To say I was feeling lonely would be an understatement. I was waiting in the church lobby to see him and when he walked in the door, I gave him the biggest hug ever!

Phil spent that whole day with me. The lady I was supposed to be living with for the summer was out of town and we weren't sure if she was going to be back for me to have a bed that night. Phil stayed with me until we were sure I had a place to live and even though I don't remember exactly what we spent that whole day doing, it was when I knew I was falling for this guy. That was in June of 2001. He proposed in August. It was the best summer of my life!

Favorite Songs on my Ipod A-J

1. All I Need- Bethany Dillon
2. Automatic- Starflyer 59
3. By Your Side- House of Heroes
4. California Soul- Maximillian
5. Can't Explain- Ever Stays Red
6. Closer- Jars of Clay
7. The Cure for Pain- Jon Foreman
8. Drifter- Decemberadio
9. Get Up- Jake Smith
10. Hear Our Prayers- The Glorious Unseen
11. Hold On- Arthur Alligood
12. I'm Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend how to Dance with you- Black Kids
13. Joyful Noise- Flame

Birth control will help the economy??

PELOSI: Well, the family planning services reduce cost. They reduce cost. The states are in terrible fiscal budget crises now and part of what we do for children's health, education and some of those elements are to help the states meet their financial needs. One of those - one of the initiatives you mentioned, the contraception, will reduce costs to the states and to the federal government.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFU_jE9WasM&eurl=http://mommylife.net/archives/2009/01/pelosi_more_bir.html&feature=player_embedded

All I can say is wow! I know several families, mine included, that would never trade their children to be better off financially. There is no amount of money that can be put on the fact that I have Chloe in my life. I think of friends who have made huge sacrifices to have their kids. I am personally thankful for the sacrifice they made because their children hold a special place in my heart. Funny that another country in a financial crisis is encouraging employers to let their people go home early so they can multiply!!(http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/01/26/canon.babies/index.html)

God is Good

Yesterday was a stinky day, but God is good. Lots of thing made yesterday just a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. This morning in the shower as I was reviewing why I was still holding on to that day, and God reminded me that for Him the sins that I committed were forgotten because I asked for His forgiveness. I just had to give the same thing to myself. It was done and I needed to move on. One thing that I thought about in the process of dealing through what happened was what if today wasn't any better? What if I had another terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? After debating playing hookie and just staying home with Chloe, I decided to face whatever was in store for me today. "This is the day the lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."

I know it's only 10:30, but this is a good day and even though yesterday wasn't fun it was a good day because I have so much to be thankful for. I have a God who loves me even when I don't deserve His love. I have a husband who supports and encourages me, and the smartest most beautiful little girl ever. I have awesome friends. I have a job to go to in a failing economy. The list is too long. God is good!

Random Thoughts

So, I have been accused by someone (my husband) of ignoring my blog. Really there hasn't been much to share, so instead of boring my readers with things like what I fixed for dinner last night (amazing scalloped potatoes and ham), I have opted to just remain silent. I decided today I would just fill you in on some random things going on in our lives. Sorry if these just bore you, but they are big things in our house:)

We will be potty training this weekend. I am super excited. Phil not so much. We (I) have opted to try the straight to big girl panties method. So this weekend Chloe will be living in rubber pants while we embark on a great adventure. She has been very interested in the potty for a while, so I know she is ready, it will just be challenging.

On a side note, our friends Jenny and Trevor are adopting! We are so excited for them. They are doing a foster to adopt. Phil and I have discussed this type of adoption before, so Jenny and Trevor's experience has opened up this conversation again in our house. While we don't know what God's plans for us are in this department, we are excited about the possibilities. Please pray that God's plan will become clear. While we know it will be a couple of years before we start to seriously explore this possibility, we are planners and like to know what to expect in the future. Also pray for Jenny and Trevor. They are house hunting and dealing with job issues for Trevor on top of all of this. They have a little boy Noah who will be going through lots of changes this year. Pray that he adjusts well.